[jazz music playing]
[music continues over speakers]
[bartender] Sir, we are closing.
Yes, but we're still open.
[both chuckling]
I've taken up of so much of your day,
and now part of your night.
-Oh, I don't mind, really. It's been fun. -Yeah.
I'm curious about something.
[Shruti] Mmm-hmm.
I noticed you were not offended
when I asked you why your husband's photographs were not on your desk.
Uh-oh.
Five more seconds of silence and we're technically in a relationship.
[laughs]
But you spoke.
-Oh. -[laughs]
Make a mistake, Shruti.
[sultry music playing]
I've made mistakes before.
Make a mistake with me.
Don't have any hope at all that anything good could come out of it.
Make a total mistake tonight.
[slurring] Under normal circumstances, I would have driven the car. I can…
Yeah, you could do this test?
[Arya] Your nose or mine?
Okay. It was nice meeting you. Good night. Carry on, please.
[Masha] What?
-[door lock beeping] -[whistling]
That's my room.
Really?
[Masha giggles]
First time having an affair? Come, come. It's okay.
Say it a little louder, the whole hotel didn't hear yet.
[Masha] It's okay. Whatever.
Come.
[theme music playing]
[both chuckle]
Oh.
Nice room.
Hey.
Uh, do you have your air hostess uniform?
Yes, I do.
Fasten your seat belt, sir.
Yeah.
[exhales]
[sultry music playing]
A very thin layer of makeup.
In Korea, we have a saying among men.
"Always date a girl in the swimming pool first."
And why is that?
Otherwise, you'll never know how much of her is actually makeup.
[laughs]
Come on.
-They're gorgeous. -No.
You're gorgeous.
Tell me one thing that a man should know about you
before he sees you naked.
Important or unimportant?
Unimportant, of course.
I'm not your husband.
[chuckles]
Oh, wow.
This is not hot.
Oh.
I'm so sorry, sir.
But this is unacceptable.
I'm very, very sorry… sir.
And I'm very, very disappointed.
Is there anything I could do to make up for my incompetence, sir?
Yes.
[chuckles]
Wait.
Just one second.
You know, it's been bothering me.
I feel like…
someone's inside your closet.
Well, you have seen Parasite?
-[chuckling] Yes. -Yeah.
A shit film.
[laughs]
-Arya. -Mmm.
So let's say, uh, you're seeing someone.
You think you should tell me?
Is that a trick question?
[yawns]
So are you seeing somebody?
I think you're forgetting I know you yawn when you pretend to be casual.
I think you should tell me if you're seeing somebody.
Actually, I don't think we need to tell each other anything.
Look, like I said before,
if you're found dead under mysterious circumstances,
I will be the prime suspect.
I should at least know who the actual suspect could be.
You must tell me his name, address, size, everything.
Are you seeing someone this evening?
Uh, no.
Good. We're going to Basu's photo exhibition.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Not a chance in hell.
The man's just been hitting on me way too directly
and I can't bear to handle that for one more evening.
That's ambitious of him.
I mean, he thinks that you're going to leave me for him.
Has he seen me?
[giggles]
That's what bothers you about a man hitting on me?
Seriously, babe?
It does, if it's somebody like Basu.
I mean, who you see next
is gonna have a direct impact on my brand value.
Actually, just imagine this.
If we're seeing other people and somebody in the colony finds out,
it's just gonna get so--
-Stink it up for no reason. -Yeah.
-Hey, you know what? -Hmm?
I think we should tell everybody.
We should have… a party.
Yeah, we should have a decoupling party.
I'm listening.
A big bash that's going to tell everybody that we're getting divorced.
But divorce doesn't mean you have to live separately.
And it can be a happy thing.
-And that's the message that Rohini gets. -Ditto.
And what we should do
is we should all dress up in our wedding costumes.
You could walk reverse around the fire
and then we could walk away in reverse from each other.
It'd be quite a ceremony. What do you think?
There we go. The great Indian tradition of keeping one gate closed.
[Shruti] What's your problem?
[Arya] My problem is there is no parking.
[Shruti] Yeah, there is.
[Arya] Yeah, yeah. Got it, got it, got it.
You know what?
This guy has absolutely no clue about driving, but watch and learn.
This is male confidence in all its glory.
He's just trying to help, babe.
I mean, this is why I love living in this country.
He's being nice because we've managed to keep him poor.
Can you park the car now?
Yeah. Okay.
What the hell?
That's it. I hate parking.
-I'm getting out of here. -[Shruti] What?
[Arya] I'm gonna go get Ganesh.
I know where he lives. I know the name of his village.
-[temple bell dings] -[birds squawking]
[cow mooing]
-[horn honks] -[bells jingling]
[clucking]
[in Hindi] Where is Tikli village?
-What? -The name of the village won't help.
What is there to think about?
What's the full address?
[in English] When you North Indians say, "What's the full address,"
you have basically no clue, right?
Shut up, Arya.
-[man in Hindi] Ask him. -What's the full address?
If you don't even know the village's name, what will you do with the full address?
-Amazing. -Who do you want to find?
[laughing]
Ganesh.
-What's his full name? -[laughing hysterically]
[in English] Arya, stop, like, seriously.
-Fuck it. -Fuck you?
[man in Hindi] Did you just say "fuck"?
You say "fuck you" to me, in my own village?
Ombir, Balakram, get the car!
[in English] Fuck. They're chasing us.
-Oh, man… -Fuck!
[men shouting]
[horn honking]
Laugh now. Asshole, laugh.
-Easy. -You should have taken it easy.
-I didn't say anything-- -You pissed them off.
[horn honking]
[in Hindi] Hold this.
Fuck! They're getting out of their Jeeps. Fuck!
Get out of the car.
-What happened? -He said, "Fuck you."
He said "fuck you" to us in our own village.
-He said, "Fuck you"? -"Fuck it."
Dear sir, saying "Fuck you" is very common for them.
If they meet someone, they say "fuck you." If they don't, "fuck you."
If the work is done, they say "fuck you." If not done, "fuck you."
If they like the food, they say "fuck you." If they don't, "fuck you."
This is their English language.
Don't take it to heart, just drop it.
Dear Sir, leave it.
Let it be.
Sorry. Sorry, man.
-[in English] That was… -You're such a disaster, Arya.
Such a fucking disaster.
Anything you do, everything you touch, just becomes a disaster.
Listen, I'm sorry. Come back!
Hey, Shruti.
[in Hindi] I said, "Fuck it," not "Fuck you."
-Okay. -Thank you.
Why are you here?
I came looking for you.
-Okay, I'll take you. -Okay.
[in English] Straight and right.
[in Hindi] Hey, tractor guy, stop.
Hey, stop! Stop!
[panting]
I need a lift.
-Where do you want to go? -Tatvam mansion.
What's the full address?
[sighs]
Hello.
[in English] Thank you.
[in Hindi] You know what the problem is?
You don't consider us drivers as humans.
You only think of us as machines that drive.
We shouldn't breathe or sweat.
We shouldn't sneeze. We should suppress farts.
I feel so angry when rich people see us but ignore us.
My blood starts boiling.
No, I won't eat anything.
It's your first time here. You have to eat.
-I'm not hungry. -Don't worry, we belong to a high caste.
Our surname in the community is…
Sir, what is my surname?
Mishra?
Uh, Sharma?
Ganesh Pandey.
I worked for you for ten years.
What's my full name?
Okay, I forgive you.
My surname is Dhaiya. Right at the top. Please eat.
In my home, no one knows what caste we belong to.
One who doesn't know his caste always belongs to the upper caste.
[in English] I got him back
and you haven't shown the correct amount of appreciation.
I said, "Well done, hero," twice.
-What more do you want me to say? -Come on, it's a big deal.
And, uh, did you notice how he smells?
Very well done.
Now let me get back to work.
-[classical Indian music playing] -[indistinct chatter]
[man] It's like everything and nothing at the same time.
You're going into a different league all together, right? So…
And when I went to Kaziranga for the first time
-and shot the one-horned rhino… -Sir, some sushi?
…I discovered I…
[Shruti continues indistinctly]
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
I brought something for you.
Wow.
This is so beautiful.
-Yeah. You like it? -Yeah.
Oh. Oh.
-You want me to put it on for you? -Yeah.
Oh. Okay. There we go.
All right.
Bloody hook is so small, man.
It's like looking for the bloody G-spot. At least with the hook we know it exists.
Isn't it too early to be giving me jewels?
Hey, I'm getting too much of a good deal so I thought I should compensate.
What do you mean by that?
Look, I want our arrangement to be fair, to be equal to you.
I'm getting to be with this gorgeous woman.
So I thought I must compensate.
Compensate me for what?
Sex.
Everything a man does for the sake of his lover
is, in one way or another, just paying for sex. Right?
No?
Hey, Masha, take it easy.
I meant it in the nicest possible way. Okay. Yeah. Bye.
-[waiter] Sir? -Yeah?
-[waiter] Jamaican coffee? -No.
Hey, quick, kiss my hand. Basu is looking.
Stop trying your luck.
That's not how it works.
I have actor friends
who tell me you have to be in character for it to be convincing.
-Ah. Okay. -You remember that Korean film, Parasite?
Where all these fat actors were behaving like they were really hungry…
[continues indistinctly]
You have seen Parasite?
-[chuckling] Yes. -That shit film!
[laughs]
[door closes]
Sorry.
I'm sorry, I can't do this.
I just can't.
[Arya] What are you thinking about?
Yo.
I was thinking about your decoupling party idea.
[chuckles] Right. Great idea, huh? What do you think?
[Basu] Excuse me.
-Ah, Shruti! -Come on. Holy shit.
-Hi. -Hi.
So good to see you. So good to see you.
So are you guys enjoying the exhibition?
Yes.
And this is my installation. Please allow me to explain.
So this is a juxtaposition of India's rich and the poor.
Avocado right up there, food for the rich.
Banana right down there, food for the poor.
-Very nice. -Arya.
This is art.
Oh.
-[woman] Dr. Basu! -Yes, my dear. Kindly excuse me, please.
Excuse me, please. Thank you.
-Yes. -You think he was born like this?
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
It's time now for the masterpiece.
Dr. Basu's interactive installation.
It's fairly simple.
He'll just stand here and be oblivious to the world around him,
except his glass of wine.
It's a representation of how we lead our lives and how self-absorbed we are.
Dr. Basu, may I now invite you?
[people clapping]
Dr. Basu, should I ask people to switch off their phones?
-[upbeat music playing over speakers] -[humming]
[cell phone ringing]
Hello.
[in Hindi] What?
[in English] This is so disturbing.
It reminds me of my 30 years in the corporate world, Suren.
When you men ignored me.
-[in Hindi] What, were you getting bored? -No, sir.
Stay here, stand with us.
Sir, I feel uncomfortable around rich people.
The other day, you said I didn't treat you like a human being.
Now you're saying you feel uncomfortable. Come on, eat something.
This food won't do.
Want a banana?
-A banana? -Yes.
This banana is amazing.
There it is.
Why is it on the wall like that?
It's from Australia.
Only three crops a year. They taste amazing.
-They do? -Yes, try it.
-Should I eat it? -Yes, man.
Just take it. Someone will replace it.
[people murmuring]
[man whispering] Did you just see that?
[murmuring]
-[in Hindi] How is it? -Sweet.
Is it?
What exactly is happening here?
Do you see that guy?
-[Ganesh] Mr. Basu? -[Arya] Yes.
His driver is my pupil.
He's an amazing person. He's a professor and cares about the poor.
-Is that so? -Yes.
Ganesh.
I think you should talk to him about your daughter's college admission.
-Would he help? -You can at least try.
-Now? -If not now, when?
Bengalis are rich at heart.
Excuse me, sorry.
Mr. Basu, I wanted to talk to you about my daughter's college admission.
Basu, sir, your driver is my friend.
Mr. Basu.
[in English] What is he saying?
[in Hindi] Don't you see me?
This exactly is rich people's worst trait.
You see us but you ignore us.
Mr. Basu.
Hey, Professor!
Motherfucker!
-[people gasping] -[glass shatters]
[imperceptible]
[woman in English] Dr. Basu, are you okay?
Can you breathe, Dr. Basu?
What a metaphor! What a metaphor!
If you are blind to the poor,
the poor will screw you, and they will eat your banana.